We may never know the truth of Brett Kavanaugh as a teenage boy.

However, the Kavanaugh hearings have created a turning point in history empowering women  not only to say “No,” but to report the sexual assailants who refused to acknowledge “No.”  Families are having open discussions with young daughters reinforcing the rule of “No” and the importance of reporting sexual assault regardless of the situation or the assailant.

What I haven’t heard yet are the critical family discussions with sons.  The need to respect women.  The importance of honoring a woman or man’s right to say “No.”  The unnegotiable rule of “consensual sex.”  The reference of “Boys will be boys” as an acceptable excuse for bad behavior is ridiculous.  Animal House behavior, whether in a frat house or a family home or a car or…, is not acceptable or excusable.

The fact is “Boys will be Men.”  Their values and actions as boys shape their values and actions as men.  Boys must be taught and held to the highest standards as honorable citizens of society.  They must be taught the core truth of what it means to be a Man –  Respect for all others, honor, sensitivity, dignity, and did I mention RESPECT.

In the past week we have been hearing the painful truths of women and men who for decades have held their secret suffering from sexual assaults and rapes as children, teenagers and adults.  Thousands have called help lines and news stations to recount their experiences and their fear of “confessing” not only to the authorities but to family and friends.  Even public personalities and news commentators have shared their personal history of their own assaults or of recently learning of never-before-known sexual assault suffered by wives, daughters, sisters, mothers.

The reluctance of the members of the Judicial Nominating Committee (predominantly older white men) to fully examine the facts of the allegations against their nominee, suggests to me that they subscribe to the “Boys will be boys” philosophy.  Is it all a partisan debate or is it based on many years of personally excusing bad behavior?