I remember sitting with my Grandma – many, many, many years ago – and marveling at her upper arms. They would wave and jiggle when she lifted her arm. As a child, I found this most interesting. Never did I believe that this would one day be my upper arm! Hera gud! (Not sure of the spelling of this but it was my Swedish Gram’s expression of horror, dismay, disapproval, loosely translated to “My god!”

Well, Hera gud, my arms are waving in the breeze like the flag on the Fourth of July! When did this happen? This is the first summer that I’m refusing to wear sleeveless tank tops – without a long-sleeved shirt or jacket or poncho on top.

What really surprises me is that I have two sets of dumbbell weights – one in Florida and one in Illinois – always at the ready. I’ve been told they’re very helpful to tone one’s arms. So far, they’ve done nothing for this one’s arms. But then, the most exercise I’ve done is to lift the dumbbells off the floor so Roomba can vacuum. Another Zen exercise that hasn’t worked for this dumbbell.

It’s curious how the arm wrinkles have traveled all the way down from my armpits to my wrists. My right arm is especially lined – a perfect roadmap for a gypsy fortune teller. This shriveling condition, I’m convinced, is the result of the cast I wore following my pickle ball crash resulting in a broken wrist. Warning – do not allow anyone to put a cast on any limb. Doctors never mention the long-term shriveling affect of casts.

I won’t even begin to understand a logical cause for the wrinkles around my knees. Even as a child I knew that age creates wrinkles on your forehead, around your eyes, your “smile lines,” etc. but wrinkled arms, knees, toes (don’t ask), were never expected! I suspect that wrinkles grow at night when you’re not watching. One theory is that wrinkled sheets lead to wrinkled skin. That must be why gal pal Kay irons her sheets and pillowcases.

Lotions and Potions

Obviously, I’ve tried an entire drug store-load of lotions and potions promising to rejuvenate aging skin. Jergens, Vaseline Mature Skin Rejuvenation, Gold Bond, Ponds (my mother’s go-to), Nivea Age Defying and Nivea Intensive Care for Aging Skin, Aveeno and Aesop Intensive Care Rejuvenating Body Lotion. The lotion list of “rejuvenators” is long! Today I discovered Goat Milk Lotion with Lavender Essential Oil from the Bates Family Farm in Virginia. Apparently a retired Marine and his wife (Mr. and Mrs. Bates I assume) started a goat farm and were “drowning in goats milk” so the goats expanded into the lotions and potions business. I haven’t tried this yet so will report back.

My good pal Anne O has used her Covid quarantine to explore creating her own potions with herbs and the Whole Foods aisle of essential oils. She gifted me with her magical elixir, Anne’s Lavender Beauty Bath – Epson Salts with lavender (from her garden) and eucalyptus oil – perfect for soaking in a bath or even a foot bath (toe wrinkles beware). She’s working on other herbal recipes for skin, beauty and well-being. More to come as beauty concoctions evolve.

Naturally, I’ve been inspired – by the goats, the lavender, and my pal Anne. Tomorrow, Amazon will deliver “100 Organic Skincare Recipes: Make Your Own Fresh and Fabulous Organic Beauty Products.” Somewhere in those 100 recipes will be one miracle recipe for a gallon of a wrinkle-proof remedy, just enough to slather from neck to knees. I can’t wait!

Have a successful wrinkle remedy to share? Or a tale of wrinkle woes? Tell us your story,